Love Me or Leave Me Alone
by Loyce
Summary: Relena threw her hands up in the air. "Protect me? You've caused more pain than any assassin's bullet could ever, Heero Yuy. I guess that's what hurts the most."
1. I think you do, then I think you don't

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing; never have and never will.  
  
A/N: This story was originally a songfic, based on the song "Love Me or Leave Me Alone" by Trisha Yearwood. However when I recently went back and read over the story, I decided that it needed to be re-written. The song has been removed from the story, completely redone and I'm a lot happier with this version. I hope you enjoy the changes I've made.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Love Me or Leave Me Alone  
Part One  
By Loyce  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He kept her fully occupied with his kisses while he lifted her in his arms and moved them to her bed. Remembering to be gentle, he braced his weight with his arms as his body covered every inch of hers. A small gasp passed between her lips at the feel of his warm skin coming in contact with hers. Moonlight streamed in the windows, casting the room in a romantic glow; illuminating the small smile on his face. No words were spoken, they were not needed. Entwining and locking their fingers together, they held onto each other as pleasure pulsed through their bodies. Aquamarine eyes stared into Prussian blue ones, silently begging for release. Finally, as they reached the top, she whispered 'I love you' into his ear. She found herself wrapped in his tight embrace as he buried his head into the soft skin of her neck. A comfortable silence grew between them as they both continued to recover from their bout of lovemaking. Nothing else was said about her declaration of love, somehow she couldn't bring herself to ask him about it, as sleep quickly closed in on her as she curled up beside him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Relena snuggled down deeper into the soft blankets on her bed as the dream began to melt away. A smile of contentment played across her face as the soreness of her entire body worked its way past sleep; a physical aftereffect of her night. A night that wasn't just a dream; it was finally a reality. Rolling to her left, she sought the warmth of his body, but all she encountered were cool sheets. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she began to sit up in her queen-size bed. Holding the sheet against her to ward of the morning chill, she looked about the room, searching for some sign of him.  
  
"Heero?" She whispered, not wanting to alert anyone to his presence in her room.  
  
She looked over at the chair where he had thrown his clothes the previous night. All she found were the plush cushions of the armchair and the emerald green fleece throw. Again she ran her hand over the other side of the bed. 'The sheets are too cold. He didn't stay.' Relena threw the covers back and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, fighting off the hot, angry tears that formed in her aquamarine eyes. Last night had been their first night together; a night she would never forget. But apparently, it meant nothing to him.  
  
Deep down, Relena had suspected that he wouldn't be beside her in the morning. But part of her had hoped that he would have stayed, proving to her that it was love instead of just plain, simple lust.  
  
Pulling the blush colored satin robe around her body, she gave the tie a vicious tug around her waist as she walked toward the far end of her bedroom. Pushing the glass doors open, Relena strode out onto the balcony. The sunlight streaming down on the small balcony did little to fight off the chill that had moved across her body. Rubbing her arms, she stared out over the vast gardens of the Peacecraft mansion. Spring had come to the Sanq Kingdom and the gardens were in full bloom. Blood red roses turned toward the morning sun, spreading their petals and allowing their sweet fragrance to cover the grounds.  
  
Sighing, she ran a hand through her loose hair. It had been a little over a year since the failed Barton Family Coup ; only three years since she first met Heero. Sitting down in the wicker chair, she placed her head in her hands and continued to stare off into the distance. If she closed her eyes, she could vividly remember every detail of their first meeting. Finding him on the beach, lying face down in the sand. Going for help and returning to him, only to be knocked out of her shoes when he abruptly stood up. Watching him as he tried to shield his face from her questioning gaze, but unable to hide his eyes. Three years had passed since she had first looked into those glorious Prussian blue eyes and fell in love. She could recall every moment they had been together and how she grew to deeply love him.   
  
Pushing herself out of the chair, Relena turned away from the garden, headed back into her room and toward her closet. She knew that she wore her heart on her sleeve where Heero was concerned. She loved him and knew that he was aware of her feelings. But he had never fully admitted how he felt about her, if he felt anything at all. She laughed sarcastically to herself. 'Define Irony. Irony is giving the most precious gift in the world to someone you love, only to wake and find him gone on the morning of the anniversary of the first time you met.'  
  
Relena paused while pulling on her stockings. 'Could it be that he really feels nothing for me? No, that can't be true. He's always been there when I need him... except for now.' The truth was Heero was the most variable constant in her life. Almost like the tide, you knew that it would come and go as it pleased, but you never knew exactly when. He was there one minute and gone the next, never able to fully commit to her.  
  
Lost in quiet thought, she pulled on the pale blue blouse, unconsciously doing up the buttons. Then stepping into the skirt, she tugged it up to her waist, the material gliding across her stockings and concealing her garter belt. The sound of the zipper carried across the small dressing room. Without a fleeting glance into the full-length mirror, she turned and left the dressing area.  
  
After she finished dressing, Relena sat down in front of the vanity mirror and began to apply her make-up. Dark shadows marred the skin under her eyes, a tribute to her sleepless night. Despite the fact her eyes held only sadness, a certain glow shone from her face. Generously applying foundation and powder, she toned down the glow from her cheeks, hoping to hide her secret from everyone. 'How can you love somebody so much and not have them return the same affection?' As she pulled her hairbrush through her blond hair, she paused as a memory from the night resurfaced...  
  
She had just come out of the bathroom, wrapped in her satin robe with a thick white towel wrapped around her head. She giggled as she tried to maintain her balance as the wet towel holding her hair swayed from side to side. She had made it to the vanity just in time, as the huge towel toppled off her head and landed on the floor beside her.   
  
Rolling her eyes, Relena reached forward and grabbed hold of her hairbrush and began working the tangles out of the long blonde strands. As her hands moved quickly to finish the tasks, she let her eyes drift closed and began to hum a simple song. By the time she was finished humming the melody, she had finished brushing her hair. No longer wet, she grabbed a long piece of ribbon and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Swinging her head from side to side, dancing to the silent music in her head, she leaned down and picked up the discarded towel. When she straightened, Relena looked into the mirror and found the reflection of Prussian colored eyes looking at her.  
  
She spun around on the small stool, not really sure if she was seeing an illusion or if he was standing there, in front of her. She had to still her hand from reaching out, to touch him. Clasping her hands together, she placed them in her lap, hoping to hide how bad she was shaking. "Heero?" Relena tried hard to hide the uncertainty in her voice, but realized she had failed.  
  
He took a step back, and Relena found herself pushing off the stool and standing so close to him that she could see tiny flecks of navy blue within his eyes. Her breath caught in the back of her throat. How many times had she dreamed about standing this close to him? Becoming lost in his eyes? Feeling his warm breath wash over her skin, sending goose pimples down her spine?   
  
She watched out of the corner of her eyes, as his arms slowly moved behind her. As she felt herself being enveloped by his warmth, her eyes slid closed and she drew a deep breath. Relena felt the gentle tug at the ribbon holding her hair and in one deft movement; His hands pulled away the ribbon and dropped it to the floor. Once her hair was free, he ran his hands through its silky mass.  
  
All types of sensations ran through Relena's mind and body. Heero sunk his hands into the hair at the base of her neck and with a small tug, she found herself arching her neck and staring into his face. With her voice barely above a whisper, she asked, "Heero, are you sure about this?"  
  
A slow smile crept on to his face before he lowered his mouth to hers, his silent reply given in the form of a kiss...  
  
Relena threw her offending hairbrush back onto the vanity as her vision became blurred with tears. She replayed the night over and over again in her mind, cursing herself for a fool the entire time. The memory of his clouded over eyes as he brought his body against her assailed her mind. Clamping her hands over her ears, she closed her eyes, trying to push the image into the far reaches of her mind. 'It was all about lust. It was never about love.'   
  
The chimes from the grandfather clock rang out the hour. Glancing, over at the huge clock she realized that she was going to be late. "Damnit!" She yelled as she pushed away from the vanity. She hastily pulled on her sandals, trying to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear in the process. There wouldn't be enough time to pull her hair back today. Grabbing her briefcase, she marched from her room and began to descend the stairs. Halfway down the stairs, she noticed Noin standing in the main foyer.  
  
"Relena, are you feeling all right?"  
  
Relena plastered her best 'polite political' smile on her face and addressed her sister-in-law. "It's nothing, just another one of my sleepless nights catching up with me."  
  
Noin regarded her with a questioning gaze. She knew Relena was hiding something, but couldn't seem to find it within herself to push the issue. When Relena wanted to talk about it she would let her know. Sighing, she placed her hand on Relena's shagging shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to Sally about prescribing something to help you rest."  
  
"No. I don't think that will be necessary." Desperate to change the topic of conversation, she mentioned to the luggage piled up next to the front door. "I can't believe you're heading back today. It only feels like yesterday that you arrived."  
  
Wrapping her arms around Relena, Noin said, "I know, but your brother wants to be there when they finish completion of the Terra-Forming project." She rubbed her swollen abdomen before continuing. "Besides, you've got some time off in a couple of months and you'll be able to meet Amelia."  
  
"Ian."   
  
Relena turned at the sound of her brother's voice to find him standing at the bottom on the stairs, walking over to join them. She stifled a giggle behind her hand. "You know, Millardo, Sally's already confirmed the baby's a girl."  
  
"He's holding out for a miracle." Noin stated as she cast her husband a teasing look.  
  
Millardo chose to ignore his wife and walked over to his younger sister. He took her chin in his hand and run a thumb across the dark smudges under her left eye. "You need to take better care of yourself." Relena felt tears rise to the back of her eyes. Lifting her hand to his, she pulled her chin from his grasp, catching sight of her watch in the process.  
  
"Oh Shit!" She quickly threw her arms around her brother, crushing him in an awkward hug, and then turned to Noin. Relena allowed herself to be taken into the outstretched arms of her friend.  
  
"Don't worry. We'll show ourselves out." Noin replied as she gently squeezed Relena against her. A genuine smile played at the corners of Relena's lips as she left the warm hug and ran towards the front door. As she threw it open, she waved back at them. "Take care. I'll see you in a couple of months."  
  
Relena didn't pull the door shut behind her as she ran down the front steps and to the car waiting below. Millardo and Noin moved to the doorway.  
  
"He was here last night."  
  
Noin shot her husband a look out of the corner of her eye. "That's her business, not yours."  
  
Millardo's eyes narrowed as he continued to watch his baby sister move down the stairs. "If he continues to hurt her like this, it will become more than just her business." He turned and walked back into the mansion, with Noin staring at his back. She shook her head as she followed him, closing the door behind them  
  
A rough edge of the briefcase caught her stockings as she made her way to the car, causing a huge run in the silk. Muttering a string of curses, Relena turned her head up toward the sky. 'Can this day get any worse?'  
  
Pagan held the door of the limo open for her as she climbed inside. "Have a good day, Miss Relena." He called to her as he shut the door.  
  
****************  
  
He could do it. It was just a simple phone call. He'd placed many of them before, so why did his throat go dry now?  
  
Because he was taking the coward's way out.  
  
Slamming his fists on the table beside the communicator, Heero hung his head. If only the others could see him now. They had always wondered about the human side of Heero Yuy, whether he possessed one or not. If they could only see him sweating over this one simple phone call, they'd really know.  
  
Unable to stare at the communicator any longer, he pushed away from the desk and headed back to his bedroom, hoping that a long shower would help clear his mind. Discarding his clothing from the previous day, Heero padded into the bathroom naked and turned on the faucets. Not waiting for the temperature to adjust from cold to hot, he jumped right in the stall.  
  
The first blast of cold water against his warm skin caused him to hiss and tense until his body got used to the frigid temperature of the water. Placing his hands on the tiled wall in front, he leaned into the steady stream of water, allowing it to wash over his head.  
  
"Heero, are you sure about this?"  
  
Heero's head snapped up as her voice drifted through his mind. Tightly closing his eyes, he tried to push her soft voice to the back of his mind, but when he tried, images of the previous night flooded his thinking.  
  
Relena looking at him with passion clouded eyes. The feel of her soft skin against his. Her hair spreading out on the pillow, shining in the moonlight. The sound of her whispered moans as he worked his way over her body with kisses. How wonderful she felt when he sunk into her....  
  
'Whoa!' Grabbing the hot water handle, Heero turned it all the way to the right, realizing that a cold shower was beneficial. He couldn't keep on this destructive train of thought; it would only make things worse. Part of him wanted to kick his own ass for the way he left things standing with Relena, the other part said that it was for the best.  
  
Why couldn't he deny this attraction between them? Why did he last night finally give into those attractions, for the first time? Did she catch him in a weak moment? He scoffed. The idea of the 'Perfect Soldier' being weak was a disgusting thought. He had always been in control of his emotions, able to think with a clear head. What was it about her that rendered him defenseless? He didn't want to think about it, not right now, maybe not ever. Balling his right hand into a fist, he slammed it into the tile wall, welcoming the stinging sensation that crawled up his arm.  
  
Reaching, he grabbed the navy blue towel off the rack and slung it loosely around his hips as he made his way out of the bathroom and toward the living room. If he was going to make that call, he better do it now, before he lost the guts.  
  
His fingers ran across the keyboard and soon the connection was being made. 'If he doesn't pick up by the third ring, I'll hang up.' Unfortunately, someone picked up on the second ring.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
Heero turned his attention back to the screen. Instead of finding violet eyes staring at him, he found a pair of confused cornflower blue. For a second, he thought he had dialed the wrong number, but then recognition settled in. Heero watched as a blush crept up Hilde's cheeks and she averted her eyes off screen. Puzzled, Heero looked down and remembered his state of undress.  
  
"Duo, the call's for you." Hilde called before she moved away from the communicator. He caught a glimpse of the clothes she had been wearing, noting that the only person in the world he knew that had smiley face boxers was Duo. 'Am I the only one that still striving to find a life without war?'  
  
Before he had a chance to further ponder the question, Duo's face appeared on the screen. His hair was still in disarray and the morning stubble hadn't been shaved from his face, but for being woken up early in the morning, he still had a huge smile on his face. Deep down, Heero wished he could have punched the silly smirk off his face.  
  
"Heero! To what do I owe the pleasure of this call at..." Duo looked off screen. "6:30 in the morning?"  
  
Heero left his eyes narrow. Why couldn't be that happy waking up next to someone in the morning. Again the question remained unanswered. "I need you to do me a favor."  
  
"Whoa, whoa!" Duo held his hands up to the screen and part of the smile died off his face. "The last time you asked me for a favor, I ended up on the wrong side of a fist and slung over Trowa's shoulder."  
  
"I only retaliated because you hit me."  
  
"Yeah, but you asked for it!" Duo mused as he blew a stray piece of hair out of his line of sight. "What's the favor?"  
  
Heero watched as Duo began to drum his fingers on the edge of the desk. "I need you on duty today. Relena's shift."  
  
"Aw, man! Today was my day off!" Duo whined. Crossing his arms across his bare chest, he continued after having Heero glare at him. "All right, I'll do it. But you owe me big time for this one." Duo paused and moved in closer to the screen. "Hey, Heero, why do you need me to cover your shift anyway?"  
  
Heero felt caught in a trap. He hadn't expected Duo to question why there was a change in plans. "I'm being pulled to work on something else today." He lied, inwardly cringing at how pathetic the excuse sounded in his own ears.   
  
Duo looked off screen with huge puppy eyes, and within seconds a pillow came flying into view smacking him directly in the face. "Yup, you owe me BIG time!" Duo reached over and disconnected the communicator, but before the connection was lost, Heero could hear him pleading with Hilde about it only being 'one day.'  
  
Moving away from the desk, Heero grabbed the ends of the towel and held them together as he made his way into his bedroom. It unnerved him to watch the interaction between Duo and Hilde in the five minutes that it had taken to make the phone call. If the God of Death had finally been able to find the glue to keep his life together, why couldn't he? And what exactly was that glue? Was it Relena herself, or just the thought of Relena? He had a lot on his mind, and a lot thing to figure out before he could see Relena. And deep down he had a feeling he would find himself sneaking into her house again that night. 


	2. I think it's time you made up your mind

Disclaimer: I don't know Gundam Wing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Love Me or Leave Me Alone  
Part Two  
By Loyce  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The dark black limo sped through the morning traffic, but its precious cargo seemed unaware of how fast the vehicle was actually moving. Relena reclined deep into the leather interior, allowing her head to fall back against the headrest. Against her will, her eyes kept slipping closed, sleep desperate to take control of her wary body. Every time she felt her head begin to fall forward, she would jerk up, blinking a couple of time to clear the confusion. 'I've got to keep myself awake.' Reaching over, she grabbed the remote control and turned on the small TV. Idly flipping through the channels, her mind wandered back to the one thing that she was trying to avoid. Heero Yuy. Night or day, he somehow always managed to intrude on her thoughts. There were times when she would go an entire day without thinking about him, but as night fell and the stars appeared, so did thoughts of him. But after last night, how could she ever be able to not get through a minute of the day without remember some part of their night together and how he left her in the morning? And that's when she came to a conclusion. 'Love must have become a crime because I'm surely being punished.'  
  
The limo came to a bone-jarring stop, the brakes squealing in protest. Relena felt the safety belt catch as her body was thrown forward by sheer momentum. If it hadn't been for the seatbelt, she would have found herself a jumbled mess of tangled limbs on the floor. Dazed, she rubbed the side of her head, trying to stem the headache that was already beginning to form behind her eyes. The passenger side door was suddenly thrown up, the sunlight streaming directly into her eyes. Holding up her hand and wincing slightly, she grabbed her briefcase and climbed from the limo.  
  
"Um...Thank you, Geoffrey." She replied to her driver, her eyebrows pulled together in an apprehensive look. Geoffrey cleared his throat and answered, "You have a meeting in five minutes, Miss Foreign Minister." Relena's eyes widened as she quickly turned toward the ESUN building and ran as fast as her sandals would allow.  
  
Once inside the building, she made her way toward the elevator lobby, only to find the elevator doors closing as she rounded the corner. Groaning in frustration, she looked toward the door leading to the stairwell. With a deep breath, she held the briefcase tightly against her chest and sprinted toward the door.   
  
The sound of her feet hitting the stairs echoed throughout the stairwell. She tried to keep her breathing a deep and even as she possibly could as she passed the second floor. A small sheen of sweat appeared at her hairline as she made her way to the fifth floor. By the time she reached the eighth and final floor, her body was screaming in protest. As she pushed the heavy metal door open, she kept thinking to herself, 'Please just let me make it to the conference room before I collapse.'  
  
Lifting her gaze from the floor as she tried to catch her breath, she noticed a highly angry God of Death making his way toward her, with his eyes slightly narrowed.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
He stopped directly in front of her, grabbed her briefcase and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't you ever, ever, do that to me again!"  
  
Relena felt like a child being scolded as she continued to stare at Duo with a puzzled look on her face. Something didn't seem right, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.  
  
"You're supposed to wait for someone to escort you into the building." Moving beside her, he guided her down the hallway toward the conference room. "Damn, you scared about 10 years off my life. I would have lost my life if I had to call Heero..."  
  
The rest of Duo's ramblings faded into the back ground as the light bulb went off in her head. That's what was wrong. It was Heero's turn on her shift, not Duo's. She shook her head and interrupted him in mid sentence. "Duo, where's Heero?"  
  
Her question caught him completely off guard and he felt falter as they continued down the corridor. "Heero called me this morning. He's been pulled to work on another assignment." Duo stifled a yawn he added, "He asked me to pick up his morning shift."  
  
'Another assignment? Another assignment.' Relena found herself pulled between out right rage and complete sorrow. 'He was hiding, again. Just like he had done many times before.'   
  
"Relena, did I do something to tick you off?"  
  
Realizing she had been glaring at the wrong person, she rubbed her temples. "I'm sorry, Duo, I had a long night and didn't get much sleep." She flashed him a polite smile, as she opened the door to the conference room. 'That wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth.'   
  
"I'll be here waiting outside to escort you back as soon as the meeting is over." Duo called to her before she shut the door. Sighing, he moved to the hard wooden chair posted next to the only entrance to the conference room. He glanced back over his shoulder and stared at the door for a couple of seconds. Something was going on between those two again. The sadness in her eyes was back. Duo felt his hand form into a fist as he realized that he had been played the fool and pulled into the middle of a 'lovers' quarrel. 'Heero's going to pay for this one.'  
  
****************  
  
Relena tapped the eraser of her pencil on the yellow pad of paper on the table in front of her. Her gaze was focused outside of the window, watching the clouds as the rolled across the blue sky. Though her body sat in a room with high political officials, her mind was elsewhere. For someone who promoted peace, she wasn't thinking of any 'complacent' ways to deal with Heero Yuy. 'I'm tired of the run around. He either loves me or he doesn't. I think it's time that I found out.'  
  
"Relena?"  
  
The elderly voice of President Whitmore pulled her from her non-pacifist thoughts. Relena glanced down at her note pad, finding various drawings and marks of sheer boredom donning the yellow paper. Leaning forward, she folded her arms over the pad and turned toward the head of the table. "I'm sorry Mr. President. What was it you were saying?"  
  
Whitmore sighed and slightly shook his head. His Foreign Minister had been so lost, staring out the window through out the entire meeting that he had to make sure that the correspondent would send her a copy of the minutes as soon as possible.  
  
"We are waiting for your vote on the proposal."  
  
"I'd like to hear more about the proposal before I make my decision."  
  
Vice President Anderson looked completely taken back by her remark. "But Foreign Minister, we're voting on *your* proposal."  
  
Relena could feel the awkward stares of the other members of the room bearing down on her. Pushing her shoulders back, hoping that her cheeks held no sign of embarrassment, she replied, "Then, I'm for it."  
  
Whitmore and Anderson exchanged a quick glance before returning to the vote. Relena let out a deep breath and sunk back into the cushions of the chair. Now her thoughts were taking her away from her job. As the finally vote was tallied, giving Relena's proposal the green light, she came to a decision.   
  
****************  
  
"I know, but Hilde, please?"   
  
"Don't give me those puppy eyes, Maxwell."  
  
Duo didn't pay any attention to her empty threat and turned the full force of his violet eyes on her.  
  
"Damnit!" Hilde threw her hands up in the air. "I can't win against those eyes, and you know it." She huffed loudly, blowing a stray lock of her dark hair out of her face. "All right, I'll be there in 15 minutes with your lunch. Should I grab something for Relena?"  
  
"It probably wouldn't hurt, I doubt she grabbed anything to eat this morning."  
  
Hilde tilted her head to the side as she regarded the tone of Duo's voice. "Duo, what's wrong?"  
  
"Something's up between Heero and Relena. And somehow, I managed to get dragged into the middle of it." Duo sighed and let his head fall gently against the wall behind him. "She was really upset this morning when she found out that I had taken his shift."  
  
"Do you want me to talk to her when I stop by?"  
  
Duo smiled at the genuine concern in his girlfriend's voice. "Nah, you know that she'll clam up and won't say a thing. Best to let her tell us in her own time." Duo looked away from the portable COM link. "Hey, babe, the meeting's over. Catch you in a few?"  
  
A sly smile played at the corners of Hilde's lips. "If you're lucky. Love you."  
  
"Love you too, babe. Be careful." Duo watched the connection break before closing up the device and stuffing it in his pocket. Pushing out of the hardback chair, he moved closer to the door. He leaned carelessly against the wall watching the delegates emerge from the conference room, his eyes searching for Relena in the crowd. The tiny hairs on the back of his neck began to rise when she didn't make in out of the room with the rest of the group. Leaning to the side, he peeked into the room and found her standing with President Whitmore.  
  
"Relena, are you sure you're up to this tour coming up? You seemed to be somewhere else during the meeting."  
  
Relena laid a reassuring hand on the elderly man's shoulder. "It's nothing to worry about. I just need a good night's rest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare some reports for my trip." She quietly walked over to the table and retrieved her papers and briefcase. Duo stepped into the room, as she was locking the latches on her the case.  
  
"Ready to get moving, Princess?" He watched as she swept the briefcase off the table and began moving out the door. Duo kept glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as they made their way down the hall and toward her office. Silence followed them, seeming to always be a step in front of them. As they got closer to her office door, Duo tried to find something to say, only to find himself at a complete loss for words. He grabbed hold of the doorknob and pushed the door open.  
  
"Good morning, Minister Darlian."  
  
Relena glanced up from the floor and looked into worried face of her secretary. "Good morning, Felicia. Any messages?"  
  
Felicia reached down and picked up a tiny stack of pink notes. "The delegate from M-13 called, reconfirming your visit. Ned Jamison called again wondering when you're going to do an interview with him." Felicia watched as Relena rolled her eyes. "And finally, your brother called; he'll call you back when they land."   
  
Handing Relena the messages, Felicia looked over toward Duo and sent him a questioning look to which Duo replied with a shrug.  
  
"Thank you, Felicia." Turning from her secretary and her bodyguard, she moved into her office, slamming the door behind her. When the glass in the door stopped rattling, Felicia turned and faced Duo.  
  
"What did you do this time?" She glared at him, her hands resting on her hips.  
  
"Me? Why does everyone always think *I've* done something wrong?"  
  
Felicia couldn't help but giggle at the outraged look on his face. "Well, you are known to have 'foot-in-mouth' disease from time to time."  
  
Duo turned his chin up toward the ceiling and closed his eyes. "I've done nothing of the sort."  
  
"Maybe not this time, but you've done your fair share, Maxwell."  
  
Duo and Felicia swung their attention toward the door to find Hilde leaning against the door jam, dangling two white plastic bags from her outstretched fingers. She pushed away from the door and strode towards Felicia's desk.  
  
The smell of food drifted into the tiny office and Duo sighed. "Babe, have I told you lately that I love you?"   
  
"Not since you asked me to bring you lunch." Hilde continued to pull the containers out of the bags, handing Felicia her normal meal. She set aside a white foam container with 'Duo' written on it, before grabbing for the one labeled for Relena. Holding it out to Duo, she said, "Sorry, sweetie, but I can't stay. I got a call on the way here, Une's having problems with the computer system." She stood on the tips of her toes and gave him a quick kiss. "Before you can eat, you have to make sure that Relena gets her lunch."  
  
Duo took it out of her hands. "All right. See you later tonight?"  
  
"Only if I can debug the system in record time." Hilde waved as she sprinted out the door.  
  
Felicia looked up from her turkey club and shook her head. "That girl's too good for you. How did she ever get mixed up with the likes of you?"  
  
"Ha. Ha. Ha." Duo rolled his eyes at her comment and made his way toward Relena's door. He knocked twice against the wooden frame before letting himself into her office. He stopped just inside the doorway and stared at her.  
  
Relena had her back to him, her shoulders somewhat slumped forward. She was leaning against the windowpane with the side of her face resting against the cool glass. The room was silent except for the occasional sound of a deep sigh. Duo surveyed the room noting that her briefcase had been dumped in the middle of the floor; she had removed her sandals and the phone jack had been unplugged.  
  
Not sure how to approach the situation, he loudly cleared his throat, hoping to draw her attention. Slowly, Relena opened her eyes and moved her head so she was able to see him standing near the door. She had the same look in her eyes that had been there earlier before she entered the conference. If Duo didn't know better, he could have sworn that Heero had been giving her lessons on his famous glare.  
  
Holding out the foam container, Duo felt like he was making a peace offering. "Hilde just came by with lunch. She picked you up some grilled chicken salad."   
  
Relena moved away from the window and walked over to Duo. She took the container out of his hands and placed it on the desk behind her. "Thank you, Duo." Keeping her back to him, she tried to regain some of the composure she had lost the moment she had some privacy.   
  
Duo continued to stare at her back and he could feel the overwhelming urge to plant his fist in Heero's face growing by the second. He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Relena."  
  
She whipped around quickly and he could see the tell tale signs that she had been crying. Her normal clear aquamarine eyes were dull and hidden behind a slight sheen of tears. The edges of her eyes were red and puffy; the sleeve of her blouse was slightly damp.   
  
"Don't worry about me, Duo. I've handled worse things in my life than being rejected..." Her voice faltered before she could finish the rest of the sentence. She dropped her head to her chest and took a couple of deep breaths. Squaring her shoulders, she brought her head back up and looked directly into his eyes. "Tell, Hilde I said thank you for lunch. I'll have to even up with her after I get back from my tour." Relena rounded the desk and placed her hands on the high backed leather chair. She smiled back at Duo. "I need to get some of these things off my desk before I head out in the morning."  
  
He knew that he was being dismissed, but Duo didn't want to leave her in her present state of mind. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he leaned back on his heels. "Well, then, I guess I better leave you to your work." They stared at each other for a moment before Duo turned to leave the room. He paused at the door and looked back over his shoulder. "You know, I'm right outside this door if you need me."  
  
Relena caught the double meaning in his simple statement. As she collapsed into the chair, she answered him back. "I know, Duo."  
  
Reluctantly, Duo pulled the door closed behind him. Felicia gave him the 'you-better-tell-me-everything' look from her desk as he walked over to pick up his lunch. He moved back to his post by Relena's office door, and opened the container; the smell of food assaulting his nose. Sighing, he realized that he no longer had an appetite.  
  
Back in the office, Relena tossed the untouched salad into the trashcan. She willed back the tears that threatened to fall with her anger. "No matter how many times I tell myself I have no more tears to shed for him, I always seem to find another well to draw from," She slammed her fist down on the desk, scattering a pile of treaties and agendas to the carpet in the process. For once, everything was going to take a back seat to her personal life. "But tonight, I'm going to find out what he wants, one way or another."  
  
****************  
  
Heero appreciated the fact that Mother Nature was cooperating with him for a change. The cloud cover blocked out most of the moonlight as he made his way through the rose gardens. Since he had helped Hilde design the security system for the Peacecraft mansion, getting past it hadn't been that difficult.  
  
As he rounded the last corner of the hedges, her bedroom balcony came into view. Although the lights were off, he knew that she was awake. Waiting for him. Heero turned back around and sunk down beside the evergreen hedges. He placed his arms on his knees, and let his head fall into his open hands.   
  
'What exactly am I doing?'  
  
Again, the little voice inside of him remained silent, unwilling to give him any answers. The pang of guilt that he felt after having Duo take over his shift had continued to grow through out the day, and now nearly consumed him. Why couldn't he face her?   
  
Looking over his shoulder, he turned his attention back up to her room. Relena had come to mean so much more to him then he could have ever thought possible. Last night had been proof of that simple fact. Heero thought back to the words that Odin Lowe had spoken to him all those years ago.   
  
'Live by your emotions.'  
  
It sounded so simple enough, and on the battlefield, he had been able to do just that. But why, couldn't he seem to apply that philosophy to his 'normal' life. Pushing off the ground with a disgusted grunt, Heero moved away from the gardens and began making his way towards the back of the mansion.  
  
Meanwhile, Relena sat in the huge plush chair in her room, her knees pulled tightly against her body. Dressed in her satin pajamas, she sat in the darkness, holding her teddy bear, waiting for him to show. She knew that he would come, if not out of love, then guilt. Guilt for what happened between them the previous night. Just the idea of him coming into the room with apologizes written in his deep blue eyes, was enough to her bite her bottom lip in anger. She would never regret making love to him, even if he had done it out of simple human need and nothing else.  
  
  
After returning from the office, Relena avoided her bedroom as much as possible since it held some many memories. She knew that the room would still carry the faint smell of sex and that the bed would taunt her with its warm sheets and the scent of his body. Instead of heading directly up to her room, Relena went to her study and picked up one of her sappy romance novels and attempted to lose herself within the story. But as she pushed herself through the words, she found her heart didn't want to read about a love come true. Finally giving in, she walked up to her bedroom, like a prisoner being lead to an execution.   
  
So now, here she was, waiting for him to come. She had pulled the chair closer to the sliding glass door of the balcony that way she would be sure to see him. With all the memories of the previous night haunting her, Relena knew that if she confronted him in her room, she didn't know if she could keep herself from faltering. Just the idea of him, standing in her room, caused excited chills up her spine. Swinging her eyes from the bed, she looked outside. The balcony was a neutral zone, a place where she could stand her ground. 'Maybe . . . hopefully.'   
  
The soft click of the doorknob caused her to turn her attention back into her bedroom. She watched as Heero careful closed the bedroom door. Relena pushed out of the chair, her eyes wide in complete shock. He actually came through the door! Frozen to her spot, she watched him come closer, removing his jacket and tossing it onto the bed. His eyes never left her face as he made his way across the carpeted floor. The only sounds in the room came from the erratic way they were breathing.  
  
Heero stopped directly in front of her and found himself drowning in her clear eyes. His lips parted, but everything that he had thought of to say at this moment, everything that he had rehearsed, somehow escaped him. He knew that he had to say something to kill the awkward silence that was growing between them, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere, mainly focused on the bed that laid just to his right.  
  
Biting her bottom lip, Relena waited as patiently as she could for Heero to say something to her. As long as he didn't say 'I'm sorry', she could handle anything he could throw at her. She caught his gaze dart over to the bed and let her own glance in the same direction. Unable to take it anymore, she turned on her heel and marched out onto the balcony, still clutching the teddy bear close to her heart. 'Okay, Relena, keep it together.' She told herself over and over again as she heard him walk out onto the balcony. He stopped in the doorway and didn't come any closer.   
  
"Relena?"  
  
Taking a deep breath, Relena brought her head up and faced him. 'All right, here it goes.'  
  
"Do you know what day it is?"  
  
"April 7, AC 198." Heero stated the date with ease, all the while continuing to stare at her, wondering if she would say the same thing he was thinking. 'Three years to the day that Operation Meteor began, nearly three years since we first met.'  
  
"That's what I thought." Turning her back to him, she braced herself against the cool stone railing of the balcony. Letting her chin rest against her chest, she stared down at the stuffed animal she held and sighed. "I can't do this anymore, Heero."  
  
"What can't you do anymore?"  
  
Relena quickly spun around and hurled the animal at him. The teddy bear landed with a soft thud against the middle of his chest. 'So much for her pacifists' ideals.' He thought as he set the bear down on the patio table.  
  
Shaking her head, she turned her enraged look on him. "I can't live like this anymore, Heero. Sneaking around . . . hell, we aren't even sneaking around, because we don't even have a steady relationship. If you want to call what we have a relationship."  
  
Heero looked down at his feet, trying to figure out how to approach the situation. He knew what she wanted to hear, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to tell her. Sighing, he said, "Relena, I...I protect you."  
  
Relena threw her hands up in the air. "Protect me? You've caused more pain than any assassin's bullet could ever, Heero Yuy. I guess that's what hurts the most. I'm tired of chasing after you, second guessing your motives." Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall, she looked up at the stars. "I need to know, Heero, what am I to you?"  
  
She walked up to him and grabbed a hold of his face. Keeping her eyes focused on his, she asked, "Heero, look at me and tell me if you love me. There is no one around to hear you. Whatever you say will be kept between you, me and the night." A single tear escaped her pleading eyes as she begged him one more time. " Heero, please, tell me."  
  
His mouth opened slightly, but he quickly drew his lips together. Again, Heero reached deep down inside of himself and tried to pull out the emotion that lay in his heart, but he wasn't able to coax it out of its hiding place. His eyes turned away from hers, and in that moment, Relena had his answer.  
  
Silence.  
  
Relena released her hold on him and stepped away. "You're the best at self-defensive, I'd say you've mastered the art. I've been trying to break through the barriers you've but up around your heart..." Sighing, Relena dropped her gaze. "But now, I realize I have been fighting a losing battle. I give up, Heero. You win."  
  
"Relena..."  
  
She didn't have to say anything to him, the tears streaming down her face answered for her. He stared at her for a moment, reached up and tried to touch her. When she backed away from him and wrapped her arms around herself, he knew that he had been the one that lost the battle, not her.   
  
"Heero, please just...just leave me alone."  
  
With that, Relena turned around and strode back into her room. She pulled the glass doors leading to the balcony closed, locking them for the remainder of the night. Through her blurry vision, she took one last look at him before she yanked the heavy drapes shut, shutting him out in the process. She held onto the drapes with a death grip for support as her knees gave out and the silent sobs began to course through her body.  
  
Heero stood there, staring back at the maroon drapes that blocked Relena from him. No, he was wrong. The drapes hadn't done anything to separate them; it had been the walls he built all those years ago that he was too afraid to tear down.   
  
'Coward.' The small voice inside his head finally spoke up.  
  
Striding over to the edge of the balcony, Heero threw one leg over the side of the stone railing. He looked back over his shoulder toward the glass doors and caught a glimpse of the teddy bear sitting on the patio table; looking out of place and lost. Pushing off the railing, he landed with ease on the grass below and began making his way off the Peacecraft property, all the while thinking about how the teddy bear wasn't the only thing that felt lost and alone. 


	3. You don't know how much it hurts me

Disclaimer: I don't know Gundam Wing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Love Me or Leave Me Alone  
Part Three  
By Loyce  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A few days later, Relena waited outside the limo, silently pacing the tarmac. Thunder threatened the arrival of rain, but her heels clicked in rhythm as she stalked relentlessly across the ground next to the car.  
  
Her escort was late. When she had shown up at the spaceport nearly 20 minutes late, she had expected him to be waiting at the bottom of the stairs, dictating order between his mutterings on how the female race would forever be weak if they could never get anywhere on time. But when the car had pulled past security, she didn't notice her dark haired escort. Uneasiness moved to her stomach at the absence of Wufei; it wasn't like him to be late.  
  
Pulling back the sleeve to her blouse, Relena walked over to the driver's side of the limo and knocked on the tinted window. The motor for the automatic window whined as it lowered into the door as Geoffrey's face appeared on the opposite side.  
  
"Yes, Miss Foreign Minister?"  
  
"Could you please hand me the communicator?"  
  
Geoffrey sent Relena a puzzled look but reached for the communicator hanging on the dashboard. As he placed the device in her hand, the air was filled with the sound of screeching tires. Relena whipped around to see a black motorcycle skid to a stop behind the limo. The black clad rider climbed off the seat and began to remove their helmet.  
  
"Duo, do you think you could make a little more noise?" Relena asked, crossing her arms across her chest and making her way over to the back of the vehicle.  
  
When the helmet was lifted, a short cap of black glossy hair was plastered to the rider's face; no meter long braid in sight.  
  
"Well, Relena, if you want to blame Duo for the noise, that's fine by me. He needs to take better care of this bike. It's a classic." Hilde's cornflower blue eyes danced with amusement as she tried to keep a straight face in light of Relena's stunned look. "Sorry, I'm late. The car wouldn't start this morning so I had to snag Duo's bike."   
  
Relena watched as Hilde grabbed her duffel bag off of the back of the motorcycle. "So? Where exactly are we headed?"  
  
"M-13, in the L3 sector, for a four day tour." Relena answered without missing a beat. "Umm, Hilde? Where's Wufei?"  
  
Laughing, Hilde turned to Relena and motioned toward the stairs leading into the shuttle. "Well, there's been a *slight* change in plans."  
  
As the climbed into the shuttle, Relena waited for Hilde to elaborate further, but her companion remained silent. Inside the shuttle, Preventer uniformed agents were securing things for departure. Relena moved her way through the throng of people and found her seat at the front of the shuttle. With an unlady-like grunt, she collapsed into the huge leather chair and kicked off her high heels. She sunk her toes into the pair of small slippers that she had pulled out of her bag. Closing her eyes, she leaned back into the chair, worn out from working so hard to prepare this trip and exhausted from her sleepless nights.  
  
Since the night she told Heero to leave her alone, she hadn't seen him. Duo had taken over the main part of her shift. Neither of them mentioned why Duo had become her main guard, but they both knew that it all went back to same person. The lack of sleep, along with her melancholy attitude, had caused her to snap at the members of her staff numerous times within the past three days. Even Duo had felt the sting of her temper, and she was shocked when he snapped back. Apparently, everyone was suffering along with her.  
  
Relena felt a shadow pass over her and then heard the chair next to her squeak under the weight of her friend. Keeping her eyes shut, she felt the shuttle being pushed toward the launching pad.  
  
"Duo pushed Wufei too far with one of his pranks and Wufei finally caught him with his katana."  
  
Relena's eyes sprung open and she turned her head and found Hilde starring out the small window. "WHAT! What did you just say?"  
  
Hilde giggled, leaned the side of her head against the headrest and slowly rolled her head around toward Relena. Relena grimaced as she looked at the green color to Hilde's face. "Just making sure that I hadn't lost you to deep thought." Hilde sighed. "Actually, it was thought that it would be better if I accompany you this time around."  
  
"Duo's worried about me, isn't he?"  
  
"He isn't the only one, Relena." The corners of Hilde's lips curled upward, trying to smile. "I'd like to think of myself as one of your closest friends. You haven't been yourself lately and I have a basic idea of what's going on. I want to help you, Relena, but I'm not going to push you to confide in me."  
  
A few tears burned at the back of her eyes as Relena stared into the pale face of her friend. She laid her hand on Hilde's and gently squeezed it. "I understand, Hilde. And thank you." Her brow wrinkled with worry. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"  
  
"Minister Darlian, we have been cleared for take off. Please make sure that your seatbelt is safely fastened." The clear voice came across the intercom.   
  
Relena reached over and pushed the button next to her chair. "Thank you." Releasing the button, she turned back to her friend. She never could have imagined that an ex-MS pilot would have problems with flying on commercial flights. Duo had told her that Hilde's fear of flying was more driven by the fact that she had no control versus the idea of flying itself. For Hilde to volunteer to come with her showed how worried her friends were.  
  
As the shuttle's engine roared completely to life, she heard Hilde swallow hard next to her. A second later, Hilde placed a shaky hand on her shoulder. "Relena, just in case, could you please pass me an air sickness bag?"  
  
****************  
  
Hilde knocked on the door to Relena's bedroom and upon hearing her voice, opened the door and slipped inside. Relena was sitting at the oak desk in the room, scribbling notes down on a yellow pad of paper.  
  
"Have you had breakfast yet?" Hilde asked as she flopped on the un-made bed.  
  
"I had a cup of tea and some biscuits a few hours ago. I needed to have the paperwork finalized before we leave." Relena answered her as he slipped the last her work into the briefcase, latching the locks before seating it down on the floor. She spun around and looked at her friend sprawled across the bed.  
  
"How's your head feeling?"  
  
Hilde threw her arm over her eyes and sighed. "Well, I managed to keep some toast down. But would someone classify the model of the MS that ran me over?"  
  
Relena couldn't help herself and a small giggle escaped from her lips, which warranted Hilde turning her head and glaring at her from under the shadow of her arm. "I'm not laughing at you, Hilde. I'm laughing with you."  
  
"I don't remember laughing at all." Hilde countered.  
  
Biting her lip, Relena tried to keep from smiling at her friend's misfortune. She drew an imaginary cross over her heart. "You have my promise that I won't tell Duo how you threw up on Preventer Tracey."   
  
"You know, for someone with pacifist ideals, you sure do have a cruel streak." Pushing herself up, Hilde smoothed the wrinkles from her lavender sweater dress. "I had a chance to look over the itinerary this morning. I'm not sure about the security at the hospital construction site, so it will be necessary to have a few extra guards with us."  
  
"You're beginning to sound like Duo and Hee..." Relena cut herself off.  
  
Sighing, Hilde pushed herself off the bed and walked over to the desk. She laid a comforting hand on Relena's shoulder. "Just because you don't say his name or try forget doesn't make it go away." She tossed her head to the side. "Besides, it's my job to make sure you don't get into too much trouble on this trip."   
  
Relena smiled. She still wasn't ready to talk about what had happened to with Heero. Hilde had remained true to her word and did not push her into discussing anything, but she was always there to offer some advice. Clearing her throat, she changed the subject. "I don't believe I've seen that dress before."  
  
An evil glint appeared in Hilde's blue eyes. "And neither has Duo. He probably won't know about it until the credit card bill shows up. He wanted me to dress the part of your personal assistant on this trip." Hilde shook her head. "The poor guy doesn't know what he got himself into."  
  
The phone rang, interrupting the peals of laughter that filled the room. Relena reached over and picked up the phone. "Hello?...Yes, we'll be right down, thank you."  
  
"The car's waiting downstairs. Are you ready to start the day?" Relena asked as she got out of the leather chair and picked up her briefcase.  
  
Hilde placed her hand on her purse. "Ready as I'll ever be."  
  
****************  
  
As the members of the delegation poured out of the various cars, they were greeted by the warm smile of the hospital director. Her strawberry blond hair had been pulled back into a small ponytail, which was nearly hidden under the white hard hat, placed on top of her head. She wore overalls, splattered with paint stains and a pair of steel-toed work boots. Relena found herself already liking the young woman.   
  
Mr. Hanley stepped forward and began the introductions. "Minister Darlian, I would like you to meet Dr. Ariel Griffin."   
  
Relena stepped forward and extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."   
  
Dr. Griffin took one look at her hand and rubbed it up against her overalls before clasping hold of Relena's hand. "Pardon me, I'm a complete mess. We were finishing up the murals in the infant's wing when I remembered the time. And the pleasure is all mine, Minister Darlian."  
  
"Please, call me Relena. I'd like to introduce my friend, Miss Hilde Schbeiker."   
  
Taking hold of Dr. Griffin's hand, Hilde looked at the hospital in complete awe. "Nice to meet you, Dr. Griffin."  
  
"You too, Hilde." Ariel turned and addressed the small group. "Shall we begin?" They followed her up to the main entrance of the hospital where she stopped them and motioned to the hat on her head. "All right, I know they may not be fashionable, but everyone has to wear them. So if you would kindly pick up a hard hat, we'll begin our tour."  
  
Ariel passed out the yellow hard hats, making sure that they were safely secured before entering the building. Instead of the normal clean white walls of normal hospitals, the walls of St. Mary's were covered with the characters of nursery rhymes and fairy tales. Hilde and Relena pointed out the different stories they knew, and even some that they didn't; hoping other members of the group would know of them. Once they reached the main lobby, Ariel turned to face them.   
  
"Welcome everyone to St. Mary's. The St. Mary's Children's Hospital will be completely state of the art. We have numerous specialists in the field of pediatrics already signed to the roster, and a few more that will be available if their skills are needed. We are taking a new approach to the care of children with the introduction of Child Life specialists.   
  
"Child life specialists will be on hand to offer developmental play as a way for children to express fears or concerns and understand the hospital environment. They will also provide activities and entertainment as a diversion from hospital routines. The child life specialists may use play with dolls and medical equipment to help your child understand his or her medical experiences. Child life specialists may provide intervention at the bedside and may also organize group activities in each unit's activity room, enabling children to socialize with their peers.  
  
"The hospital will have five separate wings, each named after influential people within the field of medicine. Four of the five wings will be set up for the care of separate age groups, from infants to teenagers. Most of the work has been completed on the four of the hospital wings." Pulling back the plastic cover, the director of the hospital ushered the group into the unfinished wing.   
  
Only the super structure had been completed. Relena looked up and could see various construction workers overhead, welding the metal together with blowtorches and scurrying along the iron frame of the building. Turning her attention back to the young hospital director, she was thankful that she wore the yellow hard hat, no matter how bad her hair would look after it had been removed.   
  
Dr. Griffin cleared her throat and continued the tour. "This last wing will be used mostly for research and development, though we are converting the top three floors into rooms that parents of terminally ill children will be able to use, helping to cut expenses while their child is with us." A slap smattering of applause filled the air.   
  
Hilde leaned over closer to Relena. "It's a wonderful idea. There's no doubt why she got the job."  
  
Before they could continue, a large beam outside the building broke loose from the crane and fell causing the surrounding ground to shake under their feet. The noise, along with the vibrations, caused everyone to cover their ears and scramble to regain their footing.  
  
Admits all the chaos and confusion, a small black kitten scampered out from between a pile of sheet rock and right under Relena's feet. She desperately reached out to grab hold of something, but the only thing her fingers encountered was thin air. Her ankle twisted causing her to grimace in pain before she crumpled to the ground.  
  
"Relena! Are you all right?" Hilde yelled over the shouts of the construction workers.  
  
Cradling her ankle, Relena looked down at the bruise as it formed on the outside of her ankle, the joint already swelling under her hands. She blinked back the few tears that clung to her eyelashes, turned her face up to Hilde's and began laughing. "We're quite a pair, aren't we? Between your air sickness and my lack of gracefulness, we'd make for an interesting comedy routine." Relena clenched her teeth as she tried to straighten her ankle.   
  
"It's unlucky for a black cat to cross your path, Relena." Hilde said as she knelt down next to her friend.  
  
Relena giggled. "Well, he was tiny, so doesn't that mean that my bad luck won't be as bad?"  
  
Ariel dropped down beside her and began removing Relena's shoe. She looked over the extent of the injury and gently touched the tender area of her ankle. "Well, you didn't break it, but it is sprained. Turns out the cat wasn't that unlucky. We'll get you back inside and have you fixed up in no time."   
  
Mr. Hanley and Preventer Tracey moved over to where Relena sat on the ground and helped to pull her up. "Are you all right, Relena?"  
  
"I'm fine, though I do feel slightly embarrassed." With her arms slung over their shoulders, Relena was able to hobble with them as Ariel led the way back through the construction site. Before they parted the plastic and continued back inside, Relena made them stop. "Hilde, is the kitten okay?"  
  
Hilde looked around the site and saw no trace of the kitten. "I don't know."  
  
"Could you go and find him? The poor thing must be scared out of his mind."   
  
As everyone else made their way through the plastic divider, Hilde sighed and began her search for the black cat. After a few minutes, she spotted the shivering mass of black fur hiding under a wheelbarrow.   
  
Hilde giggled. "I can see the headlines now. 'Rabid Cat Proves Foreign Minister Is Human. Well, at least she sprained it at the right place. " Scooping up the shaking kitten into her arms, Hilde followed the remainder of the group back into the hospital. She looked down into his huge green eyes and smiled. "I think we'll call you Chaos."   
  
****************  
  
Later that night, Relena and Hilde where holed up in Relena's suite making jokes and reliving the experience at the hospital over a couple of ice cream sundaes. Chaos, as he had been happily named, was shredding some blank paper from Relena's legal pad. The carpet was littered with hundreds of little pieces of paper, which joined the fragments of the newspaper that he had already torn apart.   
  
"I can't believe you started laughing as you sat there on the ground. I couldn't tell if you were seriously hurt or not, between the tears in your eyes and the giggles erupting from your mouth." Hilde scooped up another spoon full of hot fudge and whipped cream.  
  
"If you can't laugh at yourself, then you shouldn't be allowed to laugh at all." Picking off the cherry from the top of the pile of whipped cream, Relena popped into her mouth. Taking a deep breath, Relena turned to her friend.  
  
"He doesn't love me, Hilde."  
  
The statement caught Hilde completely off guard. She set her spoon of chocolate ice cream back down in the dish and turned to her friend. "What makes you say that?"  
  
Relena sighed. "I asked him to tell him he loved me, just once. And all I got from him was silence." Turning her head, she drew her knees up against her chest. "To top it all off, we made love the night before. I was hoping that it was a declaration of love on his part, but sometimes actions don't speak louder than the words."  
  
Regarding the lost expression on her face, Hilde moved closer to Relena. "I don't know him that well, Relena. But I do know that he does have strong feelings for you. Everyone can see that you mean more to him then he lets on. He's a complicated man and even the smart ones have problems when it comes to matters of the heart. Unfortunately, sometimes these things take time to sort out."  
  
"That's not very encouraging." Relena replied with a dry laugh.  
  
"I'm not telling you these things to make you feel worse. Love is a difficult emotion." She ran her hand through her short hair. "Take me and Duo for example. It took him nearly three years to realize that I wasn't going to disappear if he loved me. There were times I wanted to strangle him for having my heart in the palms of his hands and not doing a thing with it. In the end, I stopped trying and waited. When he finally came to terms with his heart, he was able to tell me that he loved me."   
Relena turned her head to face Hilde and laid the side of her face against her knees. "The problem is, I'm tried of trying. I'm tried of waiting. I'm tried of dreaming, wishing, and hoping."   
  
"A wise person once told me that love comes to those who are willing to wait."  
  
"Yeah, well another person said that love is a battlefield."  
  
The solider in Hilde reared her head. "If love is a battlefield, you've already showed the offensive by giving him the ultimatum. You've hit first, now it's time to sit back and go on the defensive and wait for him."  
  
"But what if his silence was his final answer."  
  
Hilde watched Relena put her forehead against her knees, her loose blond hair acting like a curtain, hiding her face from the world. For once, Hilde couldn't find any words to help her friend. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Relena's shaking body and held her while she cried. 


	4. Have you figured out where your heart is...

Disclaimer: I don't know Gundam Wing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Love Me or Leave Me Alone  
Part Four  
By Loyce  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Duo was leaning next to the coffee maker when he came in the following morning. He watched over the brim of his cup as Heero fought to open the door to his office. With a final shove, Heero swung the door open and strode into the dimly lit room. Duo heard the sound of the chair being roughly pulled across the floor, followed by a loud thud.   
  
As he made a grab for the coffee pot, his portable communicator rang. He set down his coffee, pulled the device from his pants pocket and flipped it open. As the connection was made, Duo's face was illuminated by the tiny vid-screen. The pale green face of his girlfriend greeted him.  
  
"Hi there." Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
"I guess you made it back from your trip, safe and sound. How you feeling, babe?"  
  
Hilde rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. "Have I ever told you that I hate flying commercial?"   
  
Duo smiled back at her. Even though she wasn't feeling her best, she still had her sense of humor. "I know, babe. Next time, I promise you can pilot the shuttle."  
  
"Don't make promises that you can't keep, Maxwell."  
  
The playful tone dropped from his voice. "Any problems?"   
  
"None. The team you guys assembled was top notch. The tour went off smoothly, for the most part."  
  
"For the most part?"   
  
Hilde giggled at the sight of his confused face. "While we were visiting the site for St. Mary's Children's Hospital, Relena ended up on Luck's bad side. A kitten got wrapped around her feet, and thanks to the little fur-ball, Relena has been hobbling around on crutches for the past three days. And she still hasn't gotten the hang of them yet. While we were at a delegation dinner, she lost her balance and knocked over one of the waiters. If the press had been allowed there, they would have had a field day snapping pictures of the ESUN Foreign Minister covered in caviar."  
  
Duo began picturing Relena lying on the floor covered in caviar and couldn't stop himself from laughing. "I'm sure she was the life of the party."  
  
"That she was." Hilde sighed. "After spending four days constantly by her side, I'm completely beat. I don't know how she does it. It comes so easy to her. I watched her settle a trade dispute, lobby for a proposal sitting in the Senate, make numerous public appearances; the list goes on and on. Remind me never to go into politics."  
  
Though it never appeared on her face, a frown shown through her eyes. "She's hurting pretty badly, Duo."  
  
"Is she okay?"  
  
"The only way she'll ever be okay is when this whole 'thing' becomes resolved, one way or another. She's nearly in the same place I was with you not too long ago; there's only so much I can say to help her out. Except to wait and not give up." Her shoulders slumped forward. "But, she's starting to lose her grasp on hope. The ball's in his court now. Why do you men have to be so difficult?"  
  
"I love you, Hilde." He told her, hoping the three words would help calm the tears that were evident in her voice.  
  
"I know. I love you, too."  
  
Duo looked at the exhausted way that she was carrying herself and the dark smudges under her eyes. "Don't worry. Yuy will get his ass in gear, I promise. Now, go get some sleep. We have some things to discuss when I get home." He closed the communicator on her 'deer in the head highlights' look.  
  
Patting the pocket of his uniform jacket, he made sure the bottle of aspirin hadn't fallen out and poured an extra cup of the strong coffee. He made his way through the maze of desks in the common area and finally reached the open door to Heero's office. With both hands holding cups of coffee, he leaned up against the door jam and took a hard look at his friend. His normally messy mane of hair looked like it hadn't seen a brush in a couple of days. The side of his face was lying on a stack of reports that hadn't been completed; his eyes squeezed shut against the small streams of light that poured into his office from the main room. Heero looked like hell. Duo didn't know whether to have pity for him or to be angry with him. 'Serves him right if he has a headache, he's been useless since last week.'  
  
Deciding enough was enough, he walked into Heero's office, an impish smile playing on his face as he was about to taken on the role of Devil's Advocate. Duo placed the two cups of coffee down on one of the clean areas of his desk. Heero didn't even stir as Duo's shadow fell over him. Rolling his eyes, caught sight of the open door. 'Yup, it's time for payback.'   
  
Duo made sure he slammed the door as hard as he could.   
  
The deafening sound jolted Heero from his stupor. Lifting his head off the desk, he tried his best to give Duo one of his death glares. He knew it wasn't working when the man standing over him, who was not only grinning like a fool but began laughing like one too. 'A hangover can kill your concentration.' Running his hand through his unkempt hair, he tried to focus on what Duo was saying to him. Not that it was too hard, he was talking loud enough to bring Preventer's HQ down around them.  
  
"SO HEERO, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?" Duo asked as he tossed the bottle of aspirin on the desk next to the cup of coffee.  
  
"Duo, if you don't lower your voice, I'm going to kill you."  
  
"I'M SORRY, HEERO. WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU SAY?"  
  
Heero's dull Prussian blue eyes significantly narrowed as his temper hit the boiling point. Pushing the chair back, he stood up and attempted to pull his pistol out of the underarm holster. However, a wave of nausea slapped him in his face and he pitched forward, catching and bracing himself against the top of the desk. Heero tried to calm his pounding headache and queasy stomach by taking slow deep breaths. A thin sheen of cold sweat broke out along his brow.   
  
Shaking his head, Duo decided to take pity on him and spoke in a normal tone.  
  
"If I were you, I wouldn't move around too much. You could end up ruining your 'Perfect Solider' image." The sarcastic comment warranted another pathetic attempt of the famous Heero Yuy Death Glare. "I'm surprised you made it in this morning, after all the alcohol that you consumed last night." Duo watched Heero slump into the chair and place his head on the desk once more.   
  
Sighing, Duo grabbed the chair in the corner of his office, flipped it around and sat down with his arm resting along the back of the chair. "Drinking yourself silly every night is not going to solve any of your problems." He could tell that his comment fell on deaf ears. "Look, I've been in your shoes before. I strung Hilde along for nearly three years. You can't keep doing this to Relena; to yourself."  
  
"Hn." The sound of his reply seemed to vibrate along his desk, since he didn't bother lifting his head to face Duo's accusing look.  
  
Filled with disgust, Duo slapped his hands down on the desk. The original plan to come into the office and goad Heero completely flew out window, the minute he angered the God of Death with his carefree attitude when it came to Relena. "You know, *buddy*, sometimes I wonder if you even deserve her."  
  
'That grabbed Heero's attention.' Duo watched as Heero lifted his head off the desk and stared straight into his face, his eyes filled with emotions that never reached his voice. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well for starters, you slept with her and then left her there, alone, in the morning." Duo smirked as Heero's eyes widened in reaction to the blunt statement. "Don't bother denying it. I may not be the brightest light bulb in the box, but I can connect the dots pretty well. Your call in the morning asking me to take over the shift. Her absent mindedness. The hurt look that haunted her eyes. When she mentioned that she had been 'rejected'." Duo watched as Heero visible flinched as he mentioned Relena's exact words. "I could see how badly she was hurt. It didn't take a Gundam scientist to figure that one out. So, Heero, why did you do it?"  
  
Heero placed his head and his hands, his voice muffled. "I don't know."  
  
"Yea, you do Heero. But you're just too much of a chicken-shit to admit that you love her." Heero dropped his hands and looked back at Duo again. "Don't look at me like it's some big surprise. It's obvious to everyone, but you."   
  
Duo pushed the chair back and headed toward the door. Looking back over his shoulder, he said, "You need to stop running away from her, Heero. You just might end up losing the best thing that ever happened to you." He paused, and decided to add some more grease to the fire. "I talked to Hilde earlier. They landed about an hour or so ago. She said that the tour was a success, only one small glitch."  
  
"Glitch?"  
  
"Yeah, seems Relena had a run of bad luck while on M-13 and ended up having a minor mishap. She's okay; not that you'd *care* or anything." Duo pushed away from the door and moved down the hallway. He pushed back the sleeve of his jacket on his left hand and started the count down. 'Five...Four...Three...'  
  
The sounds of a slamming door followed by loud footsteps filled the nearly empty office building. 'Guess my watch is slow.' Turning into his own office, he flopped down in his chair, reached forward and pulled a credit card statement off one of the stacks of papers. Kicking his feet up on the desk, he leaned back and balanced the wooden chair on two legs, the impish smile returning to his face. 'Now, to figure out what to do with my compulsive spender.'   
  
****************  
  
Relena hobbled over to her bed, tossed her crutches aside and collapsed onto the soft mattress. She stretched her arms over her head, trying to work out the kinks that had found their way into her muscles on the shuttle trip back to Earth. A small meowing sound came from the foot of the bed. Rolling over, Relena peered over the bed to find a pair of big green pleading eyes. She reached over the end of the bed and picked up Chaos. As she lay down on her back, she placed the kitten on her stomach and ran her hand over his spine, making him arch his back and purr in contentment. Finding Chaos, no matter how painful it turned out to be, was one of the highlights of her trip.   
  
The past few days had been grueling, to say the least. While on the tour of M-13, the ESUN session ran into problems passing some legislation that she had put forth, causing her to lobby for the proposal without stepping foot into the Senate building. But in the end, and some help, the bill was passed, so all of the hard work paid off.   
  
The trade summit was somewhat of a minor disaster. Representatives of the three surrounding colonies, along with the delegate from M-13 were disputing over embargoes and tariffs. Trying to get all four representatives to agree had been like trying to get a bunch of stubborn children to take a nap. But it was over, for now. 'Only a week to recover and then I'm off again. If I could sleep until next week, I would do it in a minute.'  
  
"Now that I think about it, when was the last time I took a day to myself?"   
  
Chaos tilted his head to the side as if trying to understand her question and come up with an answer. Instead, he just meowed. Relena ran her fingers through his soft fur and scratched the sensitive spot behind his ears. She pulled herself into a sitting position, causing Chaos to slide down into her lap. Reaching out to her side, she stretched for the small communicator on her bedside table. After knocking off the cradle, she used her fingertips to pull it closer. Her hand finally clasped around the device and she held it out in front of her. It took her a couple of minutes to actually remember the number she needed to dial, but when she did, she quickly punched the buttons, telling herself that she need to do this more often. Everyone else in the ESUN used their sick/personal time, why couldn't she?  
  
It rang twice before Felicia's face and voice came across the line. "Foreign Minister Darlian's office."  
  
"Hi, Felicia, it's me."  
  
"Relena, is everything okay?" The concern in Felicia's voice brought a small smile to Relena's face.  
  
"Everything is fine, Felicia." She paused and took a deep breath. "I'm taking the day off."  
  
Felicia sent her a dumbfounded look. "You? You're calling out?"  
  
"I can't believe it either." Relena laughed. "I think I'm going to actually try and relax for once in my life."  
  
"Well don't look at me to stop you. How long have we been trying to get you to take a day to yourself every now and then? Don't worry about the office. All of your paperwork will be piled on your desk waiting for you tomorrow morning."  
  
Relena cringed. "Maybe I should call out again tomorrow."  
  
Laughing, Felicia answered her. "Two days in a row? The whole ESUN will be in a complete uproar. So, I'll *hopefully* see you tomorrow. Enjoy your day, Relena. God knows you've earned it." Then the screen went blank.  
  
Chaos crawled off her lap and moved next to the top of her bed. Turning in circles a few times, he finally laid down curled up into a tight ball. Relena crawled up the bed, rolled over on her side and her head landed on one of the spare pillows. As she lay there, she caught a sniff of his cologne. Pushing herself up as fast as she could, she grabbed the pillow and hurled it across the room. 'Even now, he still haunts me.' The kitten shot of the bed and hid under the bed.  
  
"Chaos, I'm so sorry." But no amount of coaxing could draw the kitten back out from underneath the bed. Glancing to her right, she watched the mid-morning sun spill across the wide expanse of the Peacecraft gardens.   
  
It had been nearly a week since that fateful night on the balcony. Relena had no regrets about that night; she just wished that he had said something to her. 'Even if he had said "No", I could have dealt with that better than his silence.'   
  
Relena looked over at the vanity and the worn teddy bear that sat on the table next to the mirror. This had been the first trip that she hadn't taken 'Zero' with her. She needed time to think and taking the bear with her this time proved to be a little too painful. 'Like putting salt in an open wound.' Lying back down on the bed, she grabbed her pillow and hugged it close to her chest. The sleepless nights and long days of the past week were quickly catching up with her. 'Maybe I'll take a quick nap before lunch.' Closing her eyes, she quickly fell asleep.  
  
****************  
  
Heero had barely thrown his car into park when he threw the driver's side door open. Quickly pulling the key out of the ignition, he slammed the door shut behind him. The car alarm set as he pressed the blue button on the key chain, echoing in the parking garage. Not willing to wait for the elevator, Heero rushed up the stairs, making his way up to street level in record time. He covered his eyes when he pushed the heavy metal door open, and the morning sunlight assaulted his sensitive eyes.  
  
The ESUN office building stood before him, towering into the blue sky. He waited until there was a break in the traffic and then made his way through the throng of people and into the courtyard in front of the building. His gaze traveled up to the eighth row of windows. Her window was the fifth from the right. The pane of glass was tinted a dark color, hiding her inside and keeping the bright light of the sun on the outside.   
  
'"She's okay; not like you'd *care* or anything."' Duo's offhand comment had been ringing in his ears since he had pulled out of the parking lot at Preventer's Headquarters.   
With a disgusted sigh, Heero moved toward the front doors of the building. Once inside, he didn't even stop by the lobby to take the elevator. Instead, he headed straight for the stairwell.   
  
Taking the stairs two at a time, he made it to the eighth floor, without running out of breath or even breaking a sweat. The heavy metal door slammed against its frame as Heero strode down the corridor, drawing curious looks from the representatives loitering about the hallway. His heart was racing and he could barely hear anything over the sound of his blood pounding in his ears. When he reached the door, he stopping before he grabbed hold of the doorknob.  
  
Heero hung his head and tried to get a hold of his jumbled thoughts. Duo's little speech seemed to motivate something inside of him. Everything the braided baka said was true; it all boiled down to the simple fact that he didn't deserve Relena. But look how quickly he fell apart when she wasn't a part of his life. He picked up the bottle, hoping to dull the pain of the void he had created by pushing her away, but it didn't work. The alcohol made the pain more apparent.   
  
His heart had nearly stopped beating at the mere mention of Relena having a 'minor mishap'. Leave it to Duo to be as vague as possible. His mind was swarmed with tons of questions. What had happened? Was she shot at? Did she become ill? Why wasn't he informed? His hands fisted at the last question. He knew why he wasn't informed, and the thought nearly ripped his heart into two. It was time he faced his biggest challenge yet.  
  
Felicia stood up from her desk as Heero walked into the room and made a beeline for Relena's office. She raised a hand and tried to stop him. "Mr. Yuy..." She flinched when he flung the door open and marched inside the vacant office. A few seconds later, Heero came back out of the office.  
  
He turned his hard blue eyes on Felicia. "Where is she?"  
  
"She called out sick. Said she'd be back in tomorrow." Felicia began wringing her hands, as she grew nervous under his intense gaze.   
  
Relief washed over his body and for the first time since he walked into her office, he remembered he had been holding his breath. Letting it out slowly, as to not alert Felicia to his nervousness, he asked, "Is she at the mansion?"  
  
Nodding was the whole thing that Felicia could do in response. She watched in a stunned silence as Heero stormed out of the office, not closing the door behind him. Felicia tilted her head to the side, completely puzzled by what had just happened.  
  
The communicator rang and Felicia shook her head, trying to clear her confused thoughts. Automatically, she made the connection not really focusing on the screen.   
  
"Foreign Minister Darlian's office."  
  
"Felicia, babe. Has Heero been by the office, yet?"  
  
She couldn't help but smile at the amused tone in Duo's voice. "Yes, Duo. He just stormed out of here like a bat out of hell."   
  
Duo laughed. "Any idea where he's headed?"  
  
"Oh, I think you and I both know where he's headed." 


	5. Is it yes or no, I shouldn't have to gue...

Disclaimer: I don't know Gundam Wing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Love Me or Leave Me Alone  
Part Five  
By Loyce  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The sunlight beat down on her skin. The smell of coconuts lingered in the air. Overhead, the sea gulls cried before landing on the sand beside her. From behind her sunglasses, she watched the sandpipers run away from the rolling waves that crashed on the shore. Leaning back further into her lounge chair, Relena sighed. There was not another soul in sight; the beach was entirely hers. Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of the waves pound against the sand. A distant noise drew her attention and she fought against it, but in the end she left herself falling back to reality and out of her wonderful dream.   
  
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she tried to figure out what had woken her from her sleep. The setting sun had begun to cast vibrant hues of pink and purple into her room. 'I must have been more exhausted than I thought.' Relena dug her left arm into the soft mattress and pushed herself up, still confused as to what brought her out of her deep sleep.  
  
"Kuso! Baka no neko!"  
  
Whipping around on the bed, Relena saw Heero standing at the foot of her bed. One hand was covered in blood, while the other hand was gripping the back of Chaos' neck. Heero held the Chaos directly in front of his face as he continued to reprimand the kitten in Japanese.   
  
"What did you do to him?" Relena yelled as she slid to the end of the bed and pulled Chaos from Heero's grasp. "Oh, you poor thing. You must be completely scared out of your mind." Carefully, she tucked the shaking kitten into her arm and held him tightly against her chest. She rubbed a hand up and down his tiny back, murmuring loving words.  
  
Heero stood there completely dumbfounded. He had been the one attacked by that 'beast'; he even had the blood pouring down his wrist to prove it. From the safety of Relena's arms, he could almost swear that the cat was laughing at him.   
  
Glaring at the pair, Heero spun on his heel and marched into Relena's bathroom. With his uninjured hand, he searched through the cabinets looking for anything that resembled a First Aid Kit. Relena's soft voice could still be heard talking to fur ball nestled in her arms. Sinking to his knees, Heero opened the door to the cabinet under the sink, but stopped to look over his shoulder, back into the bedroom. A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat as he realized that he was jealous of the kitten. He turned back to the duty at hand, moving the extra towels out of the way, his hand finally wrapped around the plastic box. As he pulled the kit out, he made a mental note to kill Duo for forgetting to mention Relena's new pet.   
  
He pushed himself back on his feet, but didn't enter back into the bedroom right away. Instead, he leaned up against the doorframe and watched her play with the black ball of fluff in the dying light of the day. She had been asleep when he entered her room a few hours ago; her hair spread across the rose colored pillow. Her left ankle was encased in a small plastic cast, a pair of crutches laid on the floor. Even from a distance, he had been able to see the purple smudges under her eyes and his stomach had clenched knowing he was the main cause for her lack of sleep. He had made his way over to the plush chair in her room and sat, watching her lost in peaceful sleep. He didn't have the heart to wake her up, even if he had something to tell her.  
  
The hours had passed and he had continued to watch over her as she shifted in her sleep. Each time, the breath would catch in his chest and he would mentally hope that she wouldn't wake up. He told himself that it was because she looked exhausted and needed her rest, but in the end, he knew that he was scared. Scared to face his feelings for her. However, a slight movement from under the bed caused him to rise out of his chair and investigate. Without disturbing Relena, he had lifted the bed skirt and peered into the darkness. What he thought to have been green marbles turned out to be the eyes of that tiny monster curled up on the bed with Relena and when he reached to grab them, he ended up being used as a scratching post.   
  
"Before you bleed all over the carpet, come here so I can patch you up."  
  
Heero shook his head. Her aquamarine eyes were narrowed as she regarded him. The tone of her voice had been the one she reserved for political debates. With heavy feet and a racing heart, he walked over to the bed. He wasn't the least bit surprised when the cat arched his back and hissed in his direction. He threw a glare at the kitten, to which the cat licked his paws and proceeded to bath himself, ignoring Heero all together.   
  
She snickered. "I see you've met Chaos."  
  
"That beast has a name?" Heero continued to look down at the cat, wondering if he had lost his touch with his patented glare.  
  
"Hilde named him for me."  
  
The bed gave way under his weight and Relena slid towards him, before pulling herself away. She grabbed the First Aid Kit from his hand and set it down between them. Heero's eyes widened as she fingered the bottle of iodine before she reached for the peroxide instead. Pulling out some cotton swabs, she dipped them into the clear liquid and then ran them across his open wounds. He hissed as the stinging sensation began when the peroxide bubbled on his skin.   
  
"You're lucky I didn't use the iodine."   
  
Her statement shocked him. He continued to watch the top of her head as she leaned over his hand, applying more of the dreaded liquid on the scratches. Relena shocked him even more when she gently blew on his wounds, helping to ease the stinging pain. His eyes drifted closed and he fought back the small groan the tried to push past his lips. It took him a moment to realize that she was smoothing antibiotic ointment on some of the deeper cuts on his hand and once he did, he shivered under her touch. Disappointment flooded through him as she let go of his hand and reached back into the blue box and pulled out some large band-aids.   
  
"What happened?" He asked, as he motioned towards her injured ankle.  
  
Relena's hands froze before the laid the last of the plastic band-aids over his cuts. She didn't answer him right away and Heero felt lost as he watched her clean up the trash that was scattered around the bedspread. Keeping her eyes averted from his, she finally answered his question.  
  
"I tripped over Chaos while visiting the site of the new children's hospital on M-13. It's just a sprain, but I'll be on crutches for the next couple of weeks." Relena leaned over and scooped up Chaos in her arms. The kitten batted at a piece of stray hair that had fallen over her face, before looking at Heero and bearing his sharp teeth. He turned away from her and caught sight of something across the room.   
  
Heero pushed off of the bed and stalked over to the vanity. Her bags were still packed, lying tossed right beside the door, but 'Zero' sat out on the vanity top, leaning up against the mirror. The sight of the bear unnerved him, knowing that the bear had been left behind on this past trip. Relena always carried the bear everywhere with her; the bear even slept with her at night, but apparently not any more. A frown marred his handsome features as he took hold of the worn bear. He stared down into its button eyes as he fingered the frayed red ribbon around its neck. Sighing, he carried 'Zero' back over to the bed with him. "Are you okay?" He asked, handing her the teddy bear.  
  
Relena tentatively took the stuffed animal from him and sat it on the bed next to her. "I'm fine. But I doubt that I'll ever be able to get the hang of these crutches."  
  
"How was your trip?" Heero asked, desperate to keep the lines of communication open between them.   
  
Shrugging her shoulders, Relena gave him a quick report of all the occurrences and events that happened on her tour. As he listened to her recount everything, Heero felt more like he was at a Preventer briefing then sitting in the bedroom of the woman he loved. When she finished, they stared at each other, while a heavy silence hung between them. The palms of his hands were damp with sweat. He rubbed them on his pants, hoping she would see exactly how nervous he was.   
  
He could tell she was waiting for him to speak, but he couldn't seem to find the correct words to start off the conversation. Heero had already tried idle chitchat; she hadn't been too responsive to the mention of her injury or her trip. How was he supposed to tell her that he loved her if she didn't want to even talk to him? Should he just come out and say the words she wanted to hear, the words that he wanted to tell her? No, he couldn't do that. She'd deny his feelings for her, saying they were born of guilt and nothing more. Sighing, he rubbed his bandaged hand through his unruly hair. He was used to making things up as he went, but this time he needed a plan.   
  
Relena dropped her gaze to her folded hands and in a hushed voice she asked, "Heero, why are you here?"  
  
The solid lump of some unnamed emotion lodged itself in his throat. It would have been so much easier if he would've been able to catch her in her office, when he hadn't thought about the whole thing. Maybe that was his problem. He'd been doing too much thinking and not enough feeling when it came to Relena.   
  
"I asked you a question, Heero. I think I deserve an answer," she whispered, her eyes still focused on her lap.   
  
Heero watched as she wrung her hands, and had to compel himself not to do the same. In all the years they had own each other, he'd never seen her this nervous or felt this nervous himself. He pulled his eyes away from her hands and ended up looking directly into her face. Heat rose into his cheeks and Heero was certain that he was blushing.  
  
"I...That is..." He cleared his throat and continued. "Duo mentioned to me this morning that you'd had some problems on your trip..." Heero mentally kicked himself for not being able to get the rest of the sentence out before Relena interrupted.  
  
"Well, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine."  
  
He was being dismissed; plain and simple. With the straightening of her posture, to the tone of voice she was using, all signs pointed to the fact that she didn't want him there anymore. Shaking his head, Heero pushed off the bed and headed toward the balcony. About half across the room, he came to a complete stop. His hands fisted at his sides as he realized if he walked out that door, he'd be a coward; a 'chicken-shit'. Keeping his back to her, he began to speak.  
  
"I had an interesting conversation with Duo earlier today."  
  
"Why does that not surprise me?" Her voice held sarcasm when she answered him.  
  
Heero turned around to see Relena still sitting in the same position on the bed. "Yeah, well he actually had some valid points in what he was talking about."  
  
"Now, that surprises me."  
  
Even though she didn't push the issue of what he and Duo had discussed, Heero continued talking. "A lot has happened to me in the past 12 hours. I've discovered some things..." At loss for words, he looked away from her, his profile silhouetted against the pale shades of dusk that poured into the room from the glass door behind him. "I meant what I said that night, about protecting you. I do it for so many different reasons, Relena. For the good of the future, for the good of peace..."  
  
"What do any of those things have to do with us?" She yelled, causing him to spin around and face her. "We're talking about us, Heero. Not the rest of the world. Not the blasted ESUN, not even our friends. Us." She punctuated her statement by hitting the bed beside her with a small fist. Dropping her gaze from his, she turned her face away. "That's all I am to you, isn't it? A way to find and maintain peace. Just another assignment..."  
  
"Damnit, Relena! I did it for my own selfish reasons too!" Heero watched as Relena visibly flinched at his unusual outburst. Drawing a heavy breath, he repeated himself. "I did it for myself; for...us." He closed his eyes and let his chin fall against his chest. "Relena, I've never been good at expressing my emotions, let alone speaking them out loud. If you could only read my mind, you'd be able to see what I can't seem to say."  
  
Tears began to gather in Relena's eyes as she listened to his words. "But I can't read your mind, Heero. If I could, we wouldn't be caught in the mess we're in now." She sniffled. "I'm only going to ask you this one last time, Heero Yuy. Do you love me?"  
  
Her tears were like a siren's song, drawing him toward her, knowing that things would never be the same at this moment. Walking back over to the bed, he dropped onto his knees in front of her and cupped her face between his hands. Heero stared deep into her eyes; as they swam in unshed tears. Absently, he stroked her full bottom lip, her warm breath tickling the pad of his thumb as she sighed. With his blue eyes locked onto hers, Heero answered, "Yes, I do."  
  
A choked sob escaped passed her lips. "That's not enough." She used the back on her hand to wipe away some of the tears that had fallen down her pale cheeks. "I need to hear the words; just once. I'll never ask you to repeat them again, but please tell me the words."  
  
Heero pulled her off the bed and into his arms. He sat on the thick carpeting with Relena cradled against his body. Moving some stray strands of hair out of her face, he leaned down next to her ear. She shivered as his breath played across the sensitive skin of her neck. Closing her eyes, Relena rested her forehead against his shoulder as he told her the three words she had been longing to hear; in seven different languages.  
  
Relena placed her hands flat against his chest and pushed slightly away from him. In contradiction to the few tears hung to her thick eyelashes, a small smile crossed her lips. Her fingers toyed with the collar of his white T-shirt under his uniform jacket. "I didn't know you knew German."   
  
"Ja, meine Liebe." Heero whispered into her hair. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and watched as Chaos jumped down from the bed and crawl his way into Relena's lap. Once again the kitten bared his fangs and hissed before taking a swipe at Heero. "Do you plan on keeping that little monster?"  
  
She laughed as she scratched the bottom of the kitten's chin. "Yes, I plan on keeping him. If nothing else, he'll keep you in line." Relena lifted her gaze from the cat in her lap. Placing her hand on the side of his face, she caressed his cheek. "I love you, Heero."  
  
Contentment washed over him as he looked down into her smiling face. An unspoken connection was made in that moment, and he knew she didn't need to hear the words as long as his love for her shone brightly in his eyes. She relaxed against him and lazily ran her fingers over Chaos' glossy coat. Against his neck, he heard Relena whisper, "Heero, one thing."  
  
"What?" He asked as he threaded his fingers through her hair.  
  
"Just remember who said it first."  
  
  
  
  
~Fin~ 


End file.
